News

MELBOURNE — The Victorian Government has confirmed its machete ban remains highly effective against all citizens who were already unlikely to bring a machete to a fight, despite reports that more than 40 public knife fights have occurred in the year since the policy was announced. Officials defended the ban after critics described it as an “absolute failure”, saying the policy had successfully prevented thousands of accountants, nurses, retirees, office workers, parents, librarians and people waiting quietly for trams from carrying machetes in public. ...

The government has confirmed Sydney and Melbourne will be among the first cities in the world to trial enormous 3D night-sky projection systems capable of displaying advertisements, public safety alerts, news headlines and sponsored civic messaging across the lower atmosphere. The programme, known as SkyReach, will use high-powered atmospheric projectors to place “dynamic visual content” above major population centres between sunset and 3am, a period officials described as “historically underutilised inventory”. ...

A senior software developer has thrown a medium-sized Agile delivery function into crisis after giving a daily stand-up update so clear, accurate and emotionally honest that several managers were forced to pretend they had not heard it. Ryan Hollis, 52, delivered the update at 9:46am during what the company officially describes as a “collaborative delivery sync” and what employees privately describe as “the morning hostage roll call”. When asked what he worked on yesterday, Hollis replied, “same shit as yesterday.” ...